Heard in the Fog

Not lazy. Not imagining it. Not alone.

Making invisible illness visible, for both sides of the conversation.

Short, honest articles about EDS, POTS, MCAS and dysautonomia, for the person who has one and the person beside them.

Lazy or limited?

Being believed, invisible illness, self-doubt.

If they can't tell lazy from limited, how can you?

You walk in, see the dishes and think: lazy. They may have got to that word hours before you did. Why nobody can tell lazy from limited.

"You look so well": the compliment that lands wrong

A relative says something kind and your person goes quiet in the car. What looking well may have cost, and what to say that leaves room for the truth.

Plans and unpredictability

Cancelling, good days and bad days, pacing.

Why Tuesday was fine, but Wednesday is a crisis

Yesterday they cooked dinner and told stories. Today they cannot get out of bed. Why both days are real, and what to say on the bad one.

Why they cancel ten minutes before you leave

You are dressed, keys in hand, and the plan is off. What the afternoon may have been like from their side, and what to say in the hallway.

What to say, and what not to

Comments that sting, words that help.

"Have you tried…?": why advice lands so hard

You made a kind suggestion and the conversation went flat. What your advice landed on, and what to say when you want to help.

When they have no energy left to explain

You ask what is wrong and they say they cannot explain it right now. Why the words run out on a bad day, and how to stay close without asking.

Still being written